1. Ravage Transformers Drive
For all the fans out there who will collect absolutely anything to do with Transformers, this little drive is perfect to add to the collection. As it’s only available for pre-order at the moment, you can place an order at bigbadtoystore.com. Not only does it store 2GB of stuff, it’s Windows an Mac compatible, and ‘transforms’ (of course) into this nifty little creature. You can leave him sat there at lunchtimes to guard your work. If you really wanted to.

2. USB bracelets
Now here’s something I really didn’t expect. These colourful USB bracelets are probably the most convenient way of carrying important data. We’ve all been there…scrabbling around the room, trying to find that tiny little stick you trusted with that lengthy essay due in in one hour. The sweating, the tears, the tantrums. Now you just don’t need to go through any of that pressure if you keep it on your wrist. Available in different styles and colours, you can get these clever little things at Amazon for between £11-20.

3. C3PO Drive
Back to the figures again, but this time it’s a Star Wars theme with C3PO taking centre stage at urbanretro.co.uk. With a cracking 4GB storage, there’s plenty of room for you to keep those pics of Princess Leia on it; and whilst I don’t understand why the website explains the series is “available in several flavours”, I highly advise you not to put the stick in your mouth…

4. Poker chip
Here’s one for all you poker fans out there. This Dane-Elec Poker Mate is only 1GB, but is pretty nifty for making it look like it’s not a flash drive. Compatible with Windows and Mac OS 9.2 or later, it’s a pity MI5 didn’t use these decoys instead.

5. Freshly Baked USBs
First the hamburger phone, and now the hamburger USB drive. What will people think of next?! Quite an amusing way of holding all your data, these little nibbles just might make someone in the office smile on a bad day. Available as a hamburger, french bread, pizza slice, hot dog, doughnut, or fortune cookie, you can buy them in bulk at vavolo.com.

6. Steampunk
Personally, I feel steampunk to be one of the worst styles/crazes in the history of all things nasty, but I can’t deny that there’s something intriguing about this little drive. This one is handcrafted with brass and copper, so is really quite impressive. If you can speak Russian, made even easier with Google Translate, head over to the modding forum to see exactly how it was made.

7. USB Tie
Ever had trouble thinking of a Secret Santa gift for your boss? Well, look no further my friends because this USB tie is perfect. I can imagine it being a little uncomfortable to fit into the side of most laptops, and at the back of a PC tower, but it’s the thought that counts right? So far it seems to be a concept by dialog05, so sorry if you were really looking to buy one.

8. Zookeeper USB
Finally, one for kiddies! These Zookeeper drives come with 2GB of storage and are compatible with both Windows and Mac. Look at their cute smiles, who wouldn’t want something sweet like that plugged into their computer? As if the smiles weren’t enough, there’s even a hole at the top to dangle the drive from a necklace or keychain for easy carrying. Buy Monkey, Cow, Giraffe, or Zebra from usbgeek.com for around £10.

9. TrekStor bottle opener
If you’re one for kicking back with a beer whilst loading your USB up with info, then the TrekStor bottle opening USB drive is just the thing. Suitable for use with Windows, Mac, and Linux, it’s available with 1, 2, 4, 8, and 16GB of memory, and can be used with any bottled beverage of the owner’s choice. So, after you’ve saved that brilliant presentation on it, you can settle down with an ice cold drink and laugh heartily at the cleverness. Have a look on their website to read the specs and download the data sheet.

10. Poken
Poken seem to be the ‘in’ thing at the moment. Blowing the Zookeeper drives out of the water in cuteness stakes, these little creatures hold all your social networking details for an easy and fun way to share them with others. Jump to doyoupoken.com for better details on how they work, but just be careful when asking people if they ‘poken’. Also, get them here at firebox.com for £12.95.

If you’re interested in more strangely interesting USB sticks, head on over to the Worth1000.com competiton to look at some..err..really odd designs.

It’s a book of

“Teenage diaries, journals, notes, letters, poems, and abandoned rock operas”

compiled by a woman who started the whole thing off by holding a night in a Brooklyn bar where she, and others, would read the most embarrassing excerpts from their childhood diaries. Reading the book was probably the funniest week of my life, purely because we can all relate to a bit of teenage melodrama! Stories of boyfriends, parents, sex, best friends, and music being the only thing that keeps you alive at the age of fourteen just made me snort with laughter and at the same time tut and “ohhh” at the things that had also happened to me. Accompanied by pictures of scrunchie-clad teens and their diaries inscribed with their everlasting love for Fox Mulder, the book has some classic teenage feelings and experiences that are so innocent you can’t help but take in a breath or “nooooo!” at some of them. One of my favourites has to be from Sarah Kelly, whose page goes a little something like this:

“My mom is a total PSYCHOTIC. Seriously all she cares about it grades, its not like she cares about us at ALL! Yesterday she threatened to take away my boombox AND my synthesizer. Doesn’t she know how important they are to me?? I HATE HER! ! ! BYE!”

I can totally relate to the whole “music is my life” thing, my poor Mum had to put up with my Slipknot induced ramblings about how much Iowa meant to me. So, after reading Cringe (click HERE to see what it’s all about) I dug out my old diaries and tried to find some truly horrific entries from my teenage years. I can tell you now there were plenty of cringeworthy entries from the neurosis that was myself aged 13-16, some just too embarrassing to put out there as there might be a few people who would either get offended or think I was a stalker! (Which really I wasn’t, I was just super desperate…). Here is one extract which sums up my relationship with my Mum vs. my taste in music from 5th February 2002:

“I’ve been thinking and I won’t buy a choker ‘cos Mum’s freaking out because I bought black nail varnish”

For years my parents fought to put some colour in my clothes and I railed against it because black was the only colour that could show how deep, dark, and utterly frustrated I was. Yeah? Get a grip!! Everyone has to go through the goth stage and I’m not ashamed about it, I just wish I could have been better at it than I actually was!

Another problem I had was boys. Boys boys, all those times I wanted to just say “Umm I like you” but couldn’t because I was so damn shy! No-one ever told me they fancied me so I thought I was destined to be alone forever, the old woman with the cats and the brown fur coat. So I just ranted away in my little diary, telling it how much I loved one boy this week and another the next. How awful I felt when my crushes fancied someone else, or got girlfriends and totally ignored me. This happened many a time so eventually on the 19th March 2003 I scribbled the immortal lines:

“Its not fair! I’m in love and he has a girlfriend! I am totally over Patrick now, totally. Him going out with her has put me off for life!”

I was devastated, how could this guy who I loved so much but had only ever said ‘Hello’ to go and betray me like that?! I soon got over it though and moved onto the next poor soul. I was a girl who had crushes on anyone that paid the slightest bit of interest, forget about standards I just wanted someone to hold my hand around Queensgate shopping centre! So if you’re male and I knew you from 2001-2004 I probably fancied you. Celebs didn’t escape my clutches either, I used to write how much I loved Sean William Scott and Ashton Kutcher, man if only I could have married one of those two…

Going through my diaries has given me the biggest laugh, and taught me to not take myself so seriously. All those crushes I went through, the times when my Mum wouldn’t let me go on town leave because she didn’t want me to buy anything to do with studs or Slipknot, wishing my boobs were bigger, wishing I could get a boyfriend, wishing I could move to Canada! Life as a teen was so hard :)

Thanks to Ben Schwartz and Amanda McCall, you don’t need to do all that in person anymore! All you need to do is send one of their snazzy postcards to the person in question and let the baby animals do the talking, leaving you care-free and blame-free. Genius.

Hitting the shops 28th October, you can buy the little postcard book HERE but in the meantime have a gander at the Facebook Group :)

Broken Hearted Blog

Dear Deja-Vu, All Over Again,

I am very very bad. I seem to have abandoned you for some time…and I apologise. I do love you Blog, I just feel it’s going a little too fast. See, you have to understand that I’m in my final year at University now and it’s all a bit much. I have to devote my time between many projects and you just kept falling on the back-burner. I need to concentrate on the most important things at this moment in time and I forgot about you, I’m sorry. I know it’s not good enough and I feel awful for not treating you the way I should but I need to come clean…

I’ve been a busy bee getting on with Work Experience writing travel guides for Great Hotels of the World and contributing to the Christmas edition of the Lush Times….oh, Blog please don’t cry. I never loved them as much as I love you, you’re my number one! They we’re just summer flings in the heat of the moment, you know I will be with you forever…Blog, I have inexcusably strayed, will you ever forgive me?

Love,

iJourno
xxx

Like a spoilt teen, I WANT ONE AND I WANT IT NOW

Give me one good reason why I should not own a diamond encrusted handbag. A totally random idea but so brilliant it’s almost genius, it would go with anything you wore and really if you were in any sort of trouble diamonds are the best thing to shove in a muggers eye. They’re sharp, leave a dramatic bruise, and the irony alone would make my day. So I think I’m ready to get mys…what? £1,000,000 for that handbag? I see, fair enough. I guess I’ll stick to my Topshop shopper then.

For some of you out there the prospect of becoming, or being anything to do with a chav is a horrifying notion.

They wear tracksuits (which in my opinion are the up-to-date version of the classic shell suit, therefore MUST be burnt immediately), they adorn themselves in Argos crafted, earlobe straining bling, and boy do they love making babies! But this past week I found myself embracing my “Inner Chav”… Firstly my broodiness increased as I saw a lovely group of teenage girls, all playfully dressed in matching boob tubes and sweatpants with JUICY sprawled across the backside, pushing their prams alongside each other. Well looking at babies just got me all mumsy but I’m 20 for gods sake! I can’t shower without leaving half the contents of the bath on the floor, I spent most of today trying on all my shoes and prancing about the front room to make sure they all still fit (the red peeptoe Morgan de toi’s with bows might not make it), and I still sleep with my ‘Blanky’ (a little toy sheep from Playskool if you must know, he’s 20 years old and proud!). I’m hardly mother material just yet, so how the hell do chavs do it?! I did hold a baby today, a ginger one at that…and felt all lovely as she stared up at me with her 3 week old blue eyes. Then she gave a sorry little whimper and the lip began to wobble, she was fed up with the n00b! I think I’m too selfish right now to look after such a small thing, I fear the high heel obsession pips it to the post.

Secondly I found myself wondering where I had put my Adidas superstars from back in the day…those days when it was cool to wear ties as belts and Blink-182 hoodies were all the rage. Nirvana t-shirts were quite popular too. Those trainers were not worn to death, in fact I wore them maybe a total of 10 times, but they were cool once! For some reason I wondered who I had given them away to, or sold them to, or chucked at. I kind of missed them in a strange way, until a pair of Manolo Blahnik Mary Janes came stomping into my peripheral vision and my imagination was whirled away in a tornado of cracked heels and strained calf muscles. I never wear trainers now, they’re a bit redundant in my world, but I do remember those ones.

Lastly there was a bit of an incident with some hooped earrings (of which I have only ever worn once in my life at an 80’s disco, and where I believe they truly belong!) and I wished I knew where I had put my old ones! The trainers were bad enough, but now I wanted to resurrect my silver hoops?! What was wrong with me! I could just see it then…Simon and I living in a council estate in Hackney with our 3 children and a set of twins on the way, I’m wearing last seasons velour trackies from Matalan and those damn superstars (oh the shame!), and the kids are running around with BB guns. When did being a chav become so easy? From now on I’m steering clear of the trainers and the bling…the baby is too cute to miss of course and as we all know when it’s not yours you can just hand it back over and skip to your own space. I welcomed my inner chav into the world for a few days, let it roam about a bit without buying anything, and thankfully it settled back down. Now, where did I put that Cascada cd?

Here’s a clue…i wouldn’t want to be cuddled up to them at bedtime!

The End.