el ai ef ee
Posted by charley on July 5th, 2008
This past week i have been learning a lot about LIFE. I’ve been challenged to my limit as to my morals and my friendships, fears and emotions, decisions and future plans. Some of the outcome has been refreshing, but on the other hand some of it has been cynicism through and through.
Trust – I’ve always been a weird one on this, trusting people too much but at the same time not having any trust at all.. Being tested friendship wise and financially is tiring, with the worry of having to fork out extra money as well as losing a friend. But there’s always the question of them being a friend in the first place, so does it really matter? In a previous situation i lost a friend before i came to Uni, but it’s not such a big deal because in doing so i gained something much more amazing and beneficial to my life. Ironically, in losing a small thing i had for a couple of years i acquired something I’ll have for my lifetime. For now there are 3 of us are left in the house in Lincoln which has been both disappointing and fun! So we can only look forward to welcoming a new house mate, whoever they will be!
Money – This is always my downfall by buying shoes at every opportunity! I just love them. Buying things is what i love to do, whether it’s nice clothes for me or a nice something for someone else. Christmas shopping has started already for me and I’m doing quite well! However, there’s the small fact that once I’ve finished Uni and get a job i have to start handing back the very thing i was given in the first place, my student loan. Now I’m grateful for my loan because we all know that without it we wouldn’t have so many items of clothing from Topshop would we?! But seriously, adding it all up i seem to rack up £19,000 of loan to re-pay. Not a funny business this degree lark.
Love – Ahh love, it can be wonderful but sometimes a real bitch. I’m not talking about loving a really really swish pair of heels and not being able to afford them..it’s the heart pumping, nervous stuttering, feeling sick every time you eat kind of love. Or is the feeling sick part just me? I remember the times at school discos when you’d be sipping on your cherry panda pop and checking your body glitter is still intact when the school hottie walks past and you pretty much wet your pants thinking he might have looked at you, right at you! Those were the good old days when love was nothing but a signet ring round the back of the PE shed, or a quick holding of hands in the line after playtime. The lesser complicated times were the most fickle also, as i found when he left me for my best friend only to return begging at the knees a week later. Life moves on from being dumped in the cloakroom by his mate and now i look forward to seeing my boy when i can. Love for other people is, most of the time, relatively easy. Loving yourself is harder than it looks, but you know what they say..“Love yourself and all things are possible”, and very true that is.
Energy – Believe me, I’ve had trouble with energy since becoming a student! Going to lectures at 9am and finishing at 1pm got me into the habit of napping in the afternoon. Now as a habitual napper my body decides to shut down in between 3 and 3.30pm causing me to stamp my feet and cry, snuggling up with my blanket sheep for a quick half hour kip (one time i napped for a whole 3 hours). Getting used to this ritual didn’t take long and friends soon learned to let Charley nap when she got a little snappy! Getting out of the habit in holidays however, didn’t go so well! Trying to stay up full days was frustrating so i was glad to return to half days at Uni and get back to my napping ways. I think someday ill grow out of it, as already I’m feeling it’s a little weird when both me and my 2 year old cousin have sleepy hissy fits in the early afternoon. Oh well, I’m sure i will do a full day soon : )