deja-vu, all over again

HANDS UP OR I’LL…vibrate? I’m not sure whether this bloke uttered those words but nevertheless he’s just been jailed for holding up a bookmaker’s in Leicester with, would you believe it, his girlfriend’s vibrator..

We’ve all heard of the classic banana weapon, hell even Banksy made a whole graffiti picture about it, but a vibrator? Very inventive!

I suppose when you’re scared you don’t really think about the size and shape of a gun, but something makes me wonder why the employee who was approached by the robber thought the “weapon” was real! I mean come on, vibrators have a very distinct shape! The guys poor girlfriend has also lost a perfectly good sex toy as it’s impounded for evidence (i wonder if they fingerprinted it..). The judge heard that the robber was quite the drug addict, most probably owing his dealer the likely sum of £600 smackeroons. Why doesn’t Pete Docherty go around wielding Kate Moss’ rampant rabbit? It would make for more interesting news rather than “oh he’s been taking that crack cocaine again” and my Google alerts would be much more worth it! I bet she’s got that new Wave one anyway. Described as having a “fragile state of mind” the dildo bandit is now locked up for 5 years, and i presume his girlfriend has to save up for a new little friend.

The fascinating thing is that guy hid the sex toy in a carrier bag and pretended it was a gun, pointing it at a scared employee as she handed over more than £600 in cash. I’m sure every woman can say that vibrators are pretty good, but £600 is a rip off…

This entry was posted on Saturday, July 5th, 2008 at 4:45 pm and is filed under funny. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.